Building Resilience

There’s no shortage of sayings or clichés that promote the theory of “no pain, no gain” or ‘get comfortable with being uncomfortable’. I wholeheartedly sign up to these, but if you’ve seen me the morning after a tough workout, trying to get down the stairs for breakfast, you’ll see the pain alright, but perhaps you’ll question where the gain is. You might be the same, and you know that the gain comes later, you need to embrace discomfort first.

It’s common to hear people talking about stepping out of their comfort zone, but another way to look at it is to make your comfort zone bigger. At the start of the year, the thought of the 100-mile event was daunting but now…well, it’s still daunting, but less so. And with each training session, each mile clocked up, it becomes a slightly more tangible goal. There’s a long way to go before then, but all being well, the current discomfort will pay off eventually.

As already discussed, positivity and self-talk don’t come easily to Scottish people. It’s natural to be realistic or concerned about upcoming events, but too much negativity can erode one’s confidence and ability to do one’s best.

So, the trick is to find a way to talk positively that works for you, or which doesn’t leave you rolling your eyes! For some people, it’ll be affirmations, for others it’ll be recounting mantras. It could be reciting lyrics, your favourite football team line-up or the ingredients of your favourite meal!

On a more practical level, keep things simple, and the following affirmations or mantras are popular and effective:

·I am strong and capable

·I can do difficult things

·This too shall pass (thanks Tom Hanks)

If you find yourself straying into negative remarks, use that as your basis and switch things up around. Rather than saying “I cannot do this”, say, “I can do this, one step at a time”.

The important thing is to find something you can tell yourself that leaves you feeling upbeat and more optimistic about the challenges you face. Even something as simple as “aye, you’re looking better in that top now you’ve shed some weight” will put you in a better frame of mind.

Anyone who has dabbled with marketing, either professionally or watching Mad Men, knows the importance of the “why” in your life. Companies want to know your why, so they can push your buttons and sell you products, but if you want to make the most of your life, knowing what motivates you is vital.

Listening to the Notes On Vulnerability podcast, I learned that I’d been building my own “why”, I just hadn’t realised it.

Committing to a 100-mile event requires a lot of motivation, and while it’s called The Rat Race, it’s not a race for me; just finishing the event is enough. I won’t lose sleep over a lost minute or two along the way. 

The why involves getting into the best possible shape, not just for myself but also for my loved ones. The why involves setting a big goal and achieving it. The why involves doing something major with my friends, ensuring I spend time with people I enjoy spending time with, which is a great outcome in itself.

The charity strives to provide meals for hungry children across Glasgow. The founder, Craig Johnstone, has set up a fancy food truck, to make it cool for kids to approach. They try to ensure that kids get a hot meal and fruit, all year round, even during the school holidays.

To pay for this he has also built a new business, a new coffee shop in the heart of Glasgow. A not-for-profit designed to serve great coffee and food, to provide income to the charity, along with the standard methods of raising funds.

That is enough reason for me to commit to this race and keep going, even in the miserable weather, rain is battering off the windows and so on. When you’ve got sufficient motivation, you can get beyond these barriers, so make sure you know your “why”.

Talking of which, if you feel like you'd like to donate, you can do so here

One of the most important yet understated components of resilience is your support system. The good news is that, for me and maybe you, your support system is similar to your why. Having friends and family around you to push you on, help you unwind, and let you know if you’re going too far is vital.

As said above, I’m doing this event with friends, which means I have equally committed training partners alongside me. It helps. It’s all too easy to bail on yourself, but you’ll be less inclined to let others down. So, if you have friends who share a similar goal, train with them; if not, find new friends!

From personal experience, I know that in Glasgow city centre, running and cycling groups leave and return to a pub. Adding a social element and a very public setting helps many people try new things and find a space where they belong.

And it’s not just for fitness; there’ll be comedy groups, reading, writing, knitting clubs, etc. Whatever event you want to immerse yourself in, look for like-minded souls around you. It’s good to remember that you might find they need you as part of their support system as much as you need them.

Go online, be it Google, Bing, Facebook or Instagram, search for your location, hobby and groups. This will hopefully bring back results or contact details. If this doesn’t work, feel free to ask if anyone knows of such a group you can join. You’ll need to be proactive at the start to connect with a suitable group, but once you know their where and when, all you need to do is meet up.

Meeting new people can be scary, so have boundaries and rules you want to stick to. Make sure you follow these and don’t do anything which doesn’t feel right. However, if the group meets publicly and there’ll be a lot of people involved, you can enter with a certain degree of confidence.

A proper support system is helpful because setbacks will occur. Whether it’s injury, a crisis of confidence or real-life getting in the way of your plans, very little runs smoothly in life. Having people around you has helped me deal with health setbacks and business challenges, and it can help you.

One of the most important things to consider with resilience is balance. Yes, you want to be more robust so you can do more, train harder, and deal with life’s crushing blows. However, you need rest and recovery time. You cannot be on it 100% of the time; that leads to burnout, injuries, and the collapse of your dreams.

This means you aren’t weak by resting appropriately, prioritising sleep, and eating well. You are taking suitable steps to enhance your overall circumstances and abilities. There’s a lot to be said for saying yes to new things, but make sure you say no when your body and mind need you to.

Building resilience is a journey, not a destination. It’s a continuous process of learning, growing, and adapting to the ever-changing challenges life throws our way. Remember, resilience isn’t about being fearless or never experiencing setbacks – it’s about developing the strength and flexibility to bounce back from adversity and keep moving forward.

Embrace the discomfort, find your motivation, cultivate a supportive network, and prioritise balance. And above all, be patient and kind to yourself. Building resilience takes time, effort, and a willingness to learn from your experiences, both positive and negative. But as you embark on this journey, know that every step you take is bringing you closer to a life filled with greater purpose, fulfilment, and the courage to pursue your dreams, no matter what obstacles may arise.

Resources:

Coast To Coast Scotland: https://www.ratrace.com/coast-to-coast

Just Giving for Launch Foods: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/LaunchFoodsXReadySweatGo

Mad Men and Marketing: https://bettermarketing.pub/why-you-need-to-watch-mad-men-to-better-understand-marketing-21c82dc55d78

Example of a cycle club leaving from a pub (Milngavie): http://www.gmbc.org.uk/lets-ride/